The idea of the American wedding is a sham. Christians should rethink the whole process.

 

I am about to say something that people could love or hate. I wish you would just hear me out. Are weddings a sham? I think that they may be. I don't think this has been true throughout history but I think we finally have arrived. Here's my thinking...

 

Weddings are a multi-billion dollar industry. If I were to ask you to list the essential components of a wedding the same images would flash through all of your minds- White dress, flowers, cake, dancing, penguin suits, etc. Two people get engaged and are immediately flung into a flurry of decision making about the elements of their perfect day. Venue, photographer,food, bridesmaids, dresses...oh yeah...and a budget. Don't forget the bridezillas, overpowering mothers, uncomfortable groomsmen, the lost corsages, the demanding schedule and the litany of other negatives that come along with arranging a major event.

 

However, weddings were not always like this. There are as many variations of weddings as there are cultures on the planet. What are they real essentials? A bride, a groom, the vows, an officiant and some witnesses. The rest has been added over the years...some of it is good and some of it is bad. Ultimately the bride and groom are just as married at the end of the ceremony whether or not they had thematic wedding favors or not. How has the American wedding turned into this horrific beast demanding sacrifice?

 

For example, why must the bride carry a wedding bouquet? I'll get to that and it's very unromantic. Why does the bride wear a veil...even more unromantic. What about the bridesmaids all dressing the same? The answer is horrific. It makes my stomach turn. Terribly, viciously unromantic. Yikes. I'll get there.

 

I don’t want to fall in a ditch. I want to express how I feel about this topic without erring too far to the side or overcorrecting to the other. Either way, I end up in a ditch of extremism. And to quote Ferris Bueller “isms in my opinion are not good.”

Let’s just get this out there. I do NOT hate weddings. In fact, I quite enjoy them. Most of them. I, myself had a white wedding, with the church, the reception, the cake, the dress, the six bridesmaids and a whole lotta guests. So for me to suggest that people wed differently may seem hypocritical.

“Amy, how can you say that you would give it up if you could do it again? You already know what it is like to have that dream day!”

And you’d be right. But what I am asking people to do, especially Christian women, is to think outside of a box that is built in our minds since birth, portrayed in every fairy tale and neatly ending every good romantic comedy…a proposal or a white wedding.

 

If your wedding is something you have planned since you were a toddler then maybe you should just stop reading. I am just going to make you mad. However, if you are willing to roll with me I hope we can at least look into some of the "essentials" of a typical wedding and see where they came from and if they really deserve center stage on the biggest day of your life.

 

I will tell you lots of stories. We will look into some very old traditions and we will search the Scriptures for what the real essentials are.

 

My biggest hope for these writings is that Christians will feel empowered to rethink the American wedding system and make their own decisions that will put Christ at the center and their wallets to rest.

 

Interested? I hope so. I'll see you back here soon.